I’m Not An Adult and Here’s Why
Personally, I believe adulthood is overrated. Being respectful of people, doing the right thing, eating healthy, having money, who needs it! However, no matter how I feel about it, it is inevitable. It’s coming no matter what and all you can do is suck it up and act like an adult. Unfortunately, at 26 years old, I still don’t think I’ve got it and here’s a few reasons why.
Seriously, what is this?
Here’s what I know:
- You’re supposed to do your taxes every year.
- There’s both federal and state.
- It’s no fun.
Here’s what I don’t know:
- What the hell I’m doing.
- What I’m supposed to save. (Receipts I think right? I bought a hot dog at a gas station today and saved the receipt. I’m getting there)
- When they’re due.
- Who to give them to. I assume some guy just comes to my house on tax day and I hand him a folder. Badda bing badda boom.
I feel like I probably should’ve figured this out by now but I haven’t. I’m determined to do my own taxes this year and when I get my tax return I’m opening a bar tab for all my friends! How much will $15 get me?
I probably should’ve done this before.
Okay, okay. This one’s just my bad. Yes. I haven’t voted before. No. I’m not upset about it. I could’ve voted back in ’04. My absentee ballot got sent to me at school but the mailroom was on the other side of the campus. Not. Gonna. Happen.
Here’s my defense, I don’t pay attention to politics. All I know is that Santorum doen’t like gay guys and Mitt Romney is a republican. So with that in mind, I don’t think it would be fair to play a role in deciding who makes the rules if I don’t know anything. Yeah I know, I could just pay attention and this problem would be solved, but you know what? A lot of my problems could be solved by paying attention so don’t think I’m just gonna start all of a sudden just because you want me to.
I just recently got my mattress off the floor!
I honestly have no proof that this has any connection to being an adult, I just don’t know any adults that don’t have a headboard on their beds. I do know a lot of college students who don’t have box springs or bed frames though.
I’m comfortably in the middle and I’m okay with it.
How does the day not start at noon?
Adults wake up in the morning. Non-adults hit snooze 17 times, hoping for that one in a million morning when, for some reason, 10 minutes of sleep feels like 3 hours and you’ve never had a better night sleep. Honestly, I’d give anything to be a morning person. Wake up at 6, grab a coffee and a power bar, hit the gym, save a cat from a burning tree (yeah, you heard me), and start my work day like an absolute stud.
Instead, I convince myself I can wake up and be ready to walk out the door in 12 minutes and then almost always challenge myself to do it in 8 minutes for those extra 4 minutes of sweet, sweet sort of/kinda sleep. Some day, when I’m a big boy, I’ll be rising from my bed like a Pheonix from the ashes (just looked the meaning to make sure it fit here and guess what… it does!) every morning and you won’t know what hit you!
Yeah I eat Gogurt. I know its embarrassing but you know what? I don’t care. It’s delicious and it’s only 70 calories (compared to Yoplaite Lite – 110 and Dannon Light & Fit – 80, Breyers Light – 80). No spoon needed and you get flavors like Blue Cotton Candy. I’ll admit it can get messy at times, (I have shot it all over my wall, coffee table and couch all at once) but still.
Greek yogurt and fruit on the bottom can take the business section and go read in the sun room because that just isn’t for me.
I really hope I’m not alone here. . Everybody has to have something they do/say/eat/won’t do that is keeping them from being a 100% card carrying member of Adults R Us. Feel free to share below.