I’m A Guy and Even I Would Date Zack Morris!

Okay, why don’t we rewind a little bit so I can try to explain where this title is coming from.

My good friend Brenna has a blog, How I Met Ted Mosby, which is a great read. The other day she posted on her G-chat status, “Which TV character would you like to date?”  According to her most recent post, the responses poured in.  So much so that she turned the responses into a TV Boyfriend Bracket (on which the voting will begin soon).

Now, as a straight male, I have no desire to date any men, fictional or real. BUT, I am also comfortable enough with my sexuality to admit that if I were interested in dating some fictional men, I know who they would be and why. Which brings me back to my title.

If you checked out the bracket by now, you’d see that Zack Morris is a 6 seed. Let me repeat that. A 6 SEED. This is a joke right? You’re telling me that there are at least 20 guys you would date before Zack Morris? No way. Unacceptable. Here are a few that made the list higher than the Preppy, from top left to bottom right going across : 1 Seed – Coach Taylor (no clue who he is), 2 Seed – Marshall Eriksen (seriously), 3 Seed – Chandler Bing (straight up goober), 4 Seed – Ben Wyatt (I’ll be coming back to him later).





















You’re telling me that all of these guys (and 16 more!) are ranked higher than the Zackster in a dateability contest? I’ll believe that when Jessie Spano gets addicted to caffeine pills again (which will be never because we all learned a valuable lesson that day.)

I mean, let’s think about this for a few minutes. Putting aside the acid washed jeans, high top sneakers, striped button downs tucked in with no belt, and the most famous cell phone ever, Zack Morris is the catch of a lifetime.  Just look at his resume.

Zack Morris


Bay Side High School – Class of 1993

1502 SAT Score

California University – Class of 1997

Entrepreneurial Ventures

Friendship Bracelets

Girls of Bayside Calendar

Zit-Off Acne Cream

Extracurricular Activities

Zack Attack (Band) – Hit Song “Friends Forever”

Varsity Basketball

Varsity Track

It doesn’t really get much better than that. He’s a savvy businessman, a varsity athlete, a rock star, and he keeps his friends off drugs. Every girl’s soulmate ever much? And if you’re not convinced yet, then consider this. If Zack was able to keep the unforgettable Kelly Kapowski wrapped around his finger for 6+ seasons, I’m pretty sure he can lock up a measly 1 Seed in this TV Boyfriend Bracket.

It doesn’t end there though. 64 guys. 64 guys and no Shawn Hunter from Boy Meets World?!? That’s like having a list of the top 64 Best Hair Guys and not including Shawn Hunter. This has gone from a travesty to a travesty squared. He’s a bad boy who writes poetry. He’s the 1990’s version of the Fonzie but with better hair and less jukebox punching. For God’s sake, they called him “Lips” when he was on the quiz bowl TV show!

Oh, and I mentioned I would be coming back to Ben Wyatt. His real name is Adam Scott and he was actually on a few episodes of Boy Meets World as Griff Hawkins (such a sick name BTDubs). He became the school’s new badass for a while when Harley Keiner (his first name was actually Harvey but he never told anyone that) got shipped off to military school.

So that’s my take on TV guys and their dateability. I know you’re all going to have your own opinions. Well bring it on, that’s what the comment section is all about. Don’t forget to follow the blog so you can get each post in your email.

39 responses

  1. zack morris—yes yes yes. but, here’s the thing: women look for future stability. and so the real question is: where would zack morris be now? would he be dateable/marry-able 20 years from his fabulous high school self?

    March 27, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    • I mean, you know he’s a successful business owner at this point. And technically he married Kelly in Vegas in the last episode so I think he’s off the market. But with that aside, there’s no doubt he’s still a catch. And you know he’s probably got the iPhone 14 at this point since he’s so far ahead of the game with phones.

      March 27, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    • This is actually what I struggled with as well! He was definitely ambitious and smart, but I kind of feel like he was a little too cocky for his own good, and he might have been one of those guys who peaked in high school, but you see him at your 10 year reunion and he’s fat with six kids.

      March 28, 2012 at 8:03 am

      • No freaking way! Zack will be a stud for life! Hell, he married Kelly Kapowski, she’s going to keep him in good shape, at the gym and in the bedroom. Trust me.

        March 28, 2012 at 8:16 am

      • yeah exactly. and i can’t help but judge part of this on pictures i saw of the grown-up mark paul gosselaar that scared me…but now that i’m googling him, he’s still damn foxy. and apparently has a net worth of 9 million! http://www.therichest.org/celebnetworth/celeb/actors/mark-paul-gosselaar-net-worth/
        man, some people really do have it all…

        March 29, 2012 at 12:05 pm

      • Someday… someday *sighs*

        March 29, 2012 at 12:26 pm

    • I’ll bet his hair will…

      March 28, 2012 at 5:56 pm

  2. Intriguing title! I don’t agree, but the title is intriguing nevertheless!

    March 27, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    • Haha I figured I’d go out on a limb for that one.

      March 27, 2012 at 2:27 pm

  3. angelsail

    Meh. No Zack Morris for me. I think my fictional character I’d marry or have fictional fornication with would be Harmon Rabb, Jr. from JAG.

    I heart him. A. Lot.

    He’s pretty, a military guy, ex-pilot, adopts kids, saves lives, fights crime, and has excellent post-military paycheck potential. Love it.

    March 27, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    • Hmm I dunno if he made the bracket but he is pretty studly. If I was going to go for a fictional cop/military guy tho, it would be Elliot Stabler from Law and Order SVU.

      March 27, 2012 at 5:40 pm

  4. ah zack morris!!! every 80’s girl’s first fantasies were with zack morris! LQTM!
    I would’ve loved to date him back in high school. He’s the boyfriend girls wished they had in their teens…not so sure if he grew up to be the man women want to date. :/ But after seeing the options in the BF bracket, definitely he had to be there somewhere! Can’t believe he didn’t make it.

    March 27, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    • Technically, he grew up and married Kelly in the last episode so once again if he’s good enough for her, he’s good enough for me, figuratively speaking of course. Thanks for the comment!

      March 27, 2012 at 10:37 pm

  5. That cell phone he had was no joke.

    The one thing I always liked about him was that he was a bad boy with a good heart. He’d cause a ton of trouble, but in the end, he’d always do the right thing.

    March 27, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    • Oh you know the Preppy, always there for his friends at the end of the night/episode.

      March 27, 2012 at 10:42 pm

  6. I love Chandler Bing!!

    March 28, 2012 at 2:48 am

    • Me too! But not as a 3 seed! Not over Zack Morris, that’s for sure.

      March 28, 2012 at 8:06 am

  7. Came across your blog from freshly pressed – you say your aim is to be funny and you definitely got that! 🙂 not sure I agree completely on Zack Morris, but he’s certainly endearing… And I definitely agree with Brenna on her blog about the Piemaker!

    Both you guys got a follow 🙂 I look forward to reading your blogs!

    March 28, 2012 at 6:45 am

    • Thanks so much! I think you and Zack just need to spend some more time together, get to know each other better.

      March 28, 2012 at 8:16 am

  8. OMG YES! Zack ❤ forever. Lol. Seriously, think about it, he even dated a big tennis-star when he was in college (although, now that I think about it, he did lose the girl to Screech so that doesn't speak too highly of him). Still though, hell yeah, bring on Zack! Or Shawn Hunter. I had a hugh crush on him back in the day too.

    March 28, 2012 at 9:25 am

    • Hahah seriously, the Preppy knows what’s up. I really want him to win, I’m definitely voting for him.

      March 28, 2012 at 1:13 pm

  9. I love ZM. I actually cried when Zack and Kelly broke up at Prom and Slater and Jessie were singing in the background. Saddest TV moment ever!

    March 28, 2012 at 11:45 am

    • So sad! How could that happen. But they ended up together in the end and that’s all that matters.

      March 28, 2012 at 1:32 pm

      • Thats true – I was equally as happy when they married!

        March 28, 2012 at 2:12 pm

  10. Your freshly pressed piece was good, but I don’t know, I think this one was better. You are so damn funny. I usually don’t comment on freshly pressed posts because I don’t want to be seen as a freshly pressed opportunist. I guess I’m still not commenting on your F.P. post, but I did want to make a comment because you made me laugh out loud. Keep up the good work!

    March 28, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    • Hahah thanks so much. I’m happy to have you hear. Glad you enjoyed it.

      March 28, 2012 at 1:40 pm

  11. geekinacardigan

    I’m really truly shocked that Mal Reynolds is nowhere in the list. Maybe I’m just a scifi geek.

    March 29, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    • I can’t say that I’m shocked, only because I’ve never heard of him.

      March 29, 2012 at 12:51 pm

      • geekinacardigan

        The captain on Firefly. Played by Nathan Fillion. Should go in the ‘gets shit done’ bracket.

        March 29, 2012 at 12:57 pm

      • Now I feel stupid, I’ve never heard of Firefly either.

        March 29, 2012 at 1:00 pm

      • geekinacardigan

        Don’t feel stupid. Just go watch it. You’ll feel better afterwards.

        March 29, 2012 at 1:08 pm

  12. I just had a similar conversation with coworkers about both Zack Morris AND Shawn Hunter… this was a great read. I’m with you 100%!

    Also, thank you for saying “BTDubs.” I use it in everyday conversation once in a while and people call me out on it. So I was seriously (and I mean SERIOUSLY) excited that you wrote it.

    April 1, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    • hahaha i wasnt sure if anyone would understand that. glad we’re on the same page!

      April 1, 2012 at 7:28 pm

  13. Boy Meets World & Saved by the Bell were my favorite shows growing up! Zack was first crush ever!! & Shawn was always so cool!


    April 2, 2012 at 9:01 pm

    • Seriously, two great shows. I could sit and watch them all over again right now and enjoy them just as much. That even includes the college years, of both shows!

      April 2, 2012 at 9:58 pm

      • Always fun to catch the reruns of those shows!

        April 2, 2012 at 11:01 pm

  14. Pingback: Go for it. Just PROMISE you’ll only write nice things about me. | Life through My Eyes

  15. Where would Zack Morris be today? He’d be Franklin or Bash (I think Bash?)…from the TV show Franklin & Bash! His new character is just Zack Morris all grown up with a law degree. And no, he’s not fat and he doesn’t have six kids. What he does have is all his old irreverence, humor, and charm…but with a business suit, more money, and only a slightly higher forehead than when he was at Bay Side. Adult Zach Morris is totally date-able.

    April 3, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    • That is an amazing point! He would totally be Bash (I think you’re right on that one)! Smart, lady’s man, creative, successful, great dresser, state of the art phone! Boom! Zack Morris 2.0. You nailed it.

      April 4, 2012 at 9:10 am

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