Apparently My Blog = “Gay Aging Porn Stars With Mustaches”

So as part of the WordPress analytics, which I think are amazing, they track all of the places where your visitors come from. Most of mine are from Facebook, Twitter, and WordPress. Once in a while, I’ll get a google search for “Adam T blog” or “It’s your world,” but today, I got a bomb dropped on me. 

Seriously? I don’t even know what to say about this. I mean, traffic is traffic but I am seriously concerned. I think the biggest question that comes to mind is whether or not my blog was actually what this guy was looking for? Like, did he search that, find my website and think to himself, “That’s the one! Google, you have done it again you sly son of a gun!”  More importantly, is this the audience that is reading my blog, fans of aging gay porn stars with mustaches?

I guess there’s only one way to find out.

It’s not like a write about mustache clad porn stars all the time. Unlike my other blog, where that’s all I talk about, I barely ever write about them on It’s Your World! I mean one time I write about porn mustaches and I become the king of “gay aging porn stars with mustaches!”  You know what else is perplexing? Where the hell did “gay” and “aging” coming from?!  Now you’re just twisting my words and I won’t stand for it. 

I think one of the most amazing things about this whole situation is that this guy must have been doing a serious deep dive into this Google search. I mean, I went through the first 20 pages of google when I searched this and my blog was no where to be found. I would’ve kept going but my eyes were starting to burn after reading some of the titles of the pages I was passing. BTDubs, who knew gay guys loved Twinkies so much.

I mean, there’s got to be an easier way to find my blog than to troll through dozens of porn sites dedicated to old gay mustachioed men. But, as I said earlier, traffic is traffic, and if this is what has to be searched for my blog to get big than so be it!  All I can do is thank you for reading and hope you’ll follow and share.

Oh and just for fun. Here are just a few more interesting google searches that for some unknown reason have produced my blog as a result:

  • guys says something girls get mad girls do something wrong girls get mad” – uhh… what?
  • “u talking on my back because u are jealous of me” – i can’t even picture what it means to talk on someone’s back. Unless back is new slang for phone. Then it makes sense.
  • “zack morris dead” – What?! NOOOO!!!!
  • “mustache do you recognise me now”  – I dunno about you, but I read this one like he was talking to his mustache, asking if it recognized him. They’ve been best friends for years, but last week he got a nose job and the mustache had no idea it was coming. Now he’s curious if the mustache knows it’s still him. No?

54 responses

  1. Hysterical! What the hell is Google thinking?

    April 3, 2012 at 9:33 am

    • I have no clue! I think they might just be messing with me.

      April 3, 2012 at 9:41 am

  2. I’m so glad my office mate is out today because I’m sitting at my desk with tears rolling down my face. This is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages.

    FYI – I checked my stats for today just for kicks, and saw that I had one hit, from Saudi Arabia, who apparently found my blog after searching “canine lick.” Really? Wow.

    April 3, 2012 at 9:57 am

    • haha that’s amazing… and odd because I google “canine lick” almost every night before bed and I haven’t found your blog yet. I guess the internet is better in Saudi Arabia.

      April 3, 2012 at 10:01 am

      • I’ve heard it’s cheaper there anyway… bahahahaha!

        April 3, 2012 at 10:02 am

  3. Did that search show up on April 1st? Maybe you were search bombed! I don’t fully understand it myself, but it is when you manage to get a crazy search term to show up on someone else’s bog stats. If it makes you feel any better, LOTS of people find me while searching for the term “petting coyotes.” I have to wonder why so many people are interested in petting coyotes.

    April 3, 2012 at 10:16 am

    • It unfortunately was not from April 1st, it was last week. And that’s so funny about petting coyotes. I’m curious how much LOTS really is.

      April 3, 2012 at 10:25 am

  4. Loving your post – I get a funny one on my stats once in blue moon too!!!

    April 3, 2012 at 11:27 am

    • haha thanks. It’s always interesting to see what pops up in there.

      April 3, 2012 at 11:29 am

  5. Haha that’s awesome! Sure beats any of the search terms I get for mine.

    April 3, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    • Don’t worry, some freak will find your blog some day. Fingers crossed!

      April 3, 2012 at 12:31 pm

      • Haha thanks. Often times it says unknown search terms. I’m wondering what that means..

        April 4, 2012 at 3:50 pm

  6. This was awesome, especially since you polled your readers…LOL…I almost hit yes, because technically your title is what lured me in, but alas! I didn’t want to add to your obvious aging mustache porn complex you have going on….

    Good one!

    — Bird

    April 3, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    • haha thank you. I appreciate you keeping my life simpler.

      April 3, 2012 at 12:31 pm

      • lol…I do what I can…

        April 3, 2012 at 12:33 pm

  7. Pingback: Three Boobs « Everyone Has A Story

  8. I checked mine…my favorite was “Three Boobs”. Of course I blogged about it, and I pinged back to your site…


    April 3, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    • I saw that! thanks so much! i love hearing about random search results.

      April 3, 2012 at 1:24 pm

      • Thank you for sharing yours!

        Three Boobs

        April 3, 2012 at 1:25 pm

  9. LOL–yeah I sometimes get weird search terms too.

    April 3, 2012 at 1:03 pm

  10. “mustache do you recognise me now” – Totally read that same way.
    “Mustache, do you recognize me now?” *puts on glasses*
    “What about now?” *adds headphones*
    “What about NOW?!?” *shaves mustache off*
    (Insert sinister laugh here)

    April 3, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    • haha that mustache was being such a dick! he had it coming.

      April 3, 2012 at 1:28 pm

      • Btw…I hope you understand that this mysterious gay mustache searching person (it was me) was only searching for gay mustaches because gay men are more stylish and therefore have cooler mustaches.

        April 3, 2012 at 1:30 pm

      • I had a sneaking suspicion that it was you but I didn’t want to say anything.

        April 3, 2012 at 1:33 pm

  11. once you’ve got the word ‘mustache’ in your content it’s just a slippery slope to all manner of taboo, under-wordly affairs. i generally stay away form that word. its the gateway to weird-dome. lol!! funny post!

    April 3, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    • this is very true! its even more of a slippery slope when you grow a mustache!

      April 3, 2012 at 1:58 pm

      • i would think so! lol!!!

        April 3, 2012 at 2:00 pm

  12. Bwahaha – this made me laugh so much.
    I really had to restrain myself from hitting ‘yes’ on your poll (Dear heavens I’m starting to sound like a porn star too!)
    At the start of the day who would have thought we would be discussing gay aging porn stars with moustaches! (Now that would be some nursing home to work in!) 😀

    April 3, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    • haha i have a feeling most of those yeses are fake, I hope so at least! Thanks for the comment!

      April 3, 2012 at 2:44 pm

  13. OMG! I had the worst day today! There was a huge warehouse fire a few blocks from the school where I work and I spent the morning trying to calm down parents who either watch too much online instant news or have a police scanner and wanted to make sure their kid was ok. I mean seriously. I was getting calls before I heard the sirens! Then I found out that my son who we thought had a sprained ankle actually has a broken ankle and will be out the rest of the varsity lacrosse season. There goes that potential college scholarship! I begged my husband to bring my other son’s belongings that he forgot at home because I was too lazy, er I mean busy, to go home to fetch them and while he was away from home for a maximum of 25 minutes our house was broken into and ransacked! They got away with about 30 k worth of valuables including heirloom jewelry and our computers. I have to tell my kids in a few minutes that their iPads, cell phones and Xbox we’re stolen. So I read your blog post and I laughed out loud! I really needed a good laugh!!

    April 3, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    • wow that seriously is the worst day ever, im so sorry. glad i could make you laugh tho. best of luck!

      April 3, 2012 at 4:31 pm

  14. I laughed so hard that my manager came in to see what I was doing. I told him, “managerial accouting.” So now he probably thinks I find managerial accounting hilarious.

    April 3, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    • hahaha thats awesome. im glad i didnt get you into trouble.

      April 3, 2012 at 4:30 pm

  15. “with mustaches” has got to be the proverbial icing on the cake in that search time, hahaha.

    April 3, 2012 at 6:02 pm

    • I don’t know how I confused “term” and “time”. I was probably laughing too much.

      April 3, 2012 at 8:22 pm

      • Don’t worry about it, I do it all the term.

        April 4, 2012 at 9:11 am

    • Definitely. Because it wasn’t weird enough at that point, we just had to put it over the edge.

      April 4, 2012 at 9:10 am

  16. Haha that was great ! Now im very curious to see what my stats are .. I will let you know 😉

    April 3, 2012 at 8:03 pm

  17. Ok I just had one – Rubbish warrior Darwin – and this makes sense to me as I did write about the rubbish warrior running for mayor of Darwin. Was a bit disappointed I was hoping it would be something crazy !

    April 3, 2012 at 8:19 pm

    • haha don’t worry, they’ll come. there are plenty of weirdos out there.

      April 4, 2012 at 9:10 am

  18. I googled “Bloggers that don’t know the difference between then & than” and well… here I am.
    Very funny post by the way.
    Have a great day! 🙂

    April 3, 2012 at 11:42 pm

    • Wait, am I one of those bloggers?!

      April 4, 2012 at 9:12 am

  19. Tommy Hill

    just searched “guys who like to skateboard” and you showed up there too. oh wait, that was just facebook pictures

    April 4, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    • i dont get that comment at all.

      April 4, 2012 at 2:30 pm

  20. angelsail

    You’re soooooo funny. I haven’t laughed so much in ages.

    I love a man who is funny. Marry me? ❤ 🙂

    April 4, 2012 at 6:39 pm

    • sounds like a plan. How do you feel about a fall wedding?

      April 5, 2012 at 12:04 am

  21. i wasn’t originally coming to your blog for “gay porn star mustache” updates but now i sure will be…

    April 5, 2012 at 1:52 pm

  22. i wasn’t originally coming to your blog for updates on “gay porn mustaches” but now i sure will be!

    April 5, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    • haha well i’ll be sure to make a regular feature out of it so I can keep you satisfied.

      April 5, 2012 at 1:54 pm

      • apparently i was so excited at this prospect, i posted my comment twice!

        April 5, 2012 at 2:12 pm

  23. High-larious! You know this is your penance for smearing the man’s good name (face?) right? Karma. She’s a bitch. (This is SO funny.)

    April 8, 2012 at 8:19 pm

    • haha I guess I had it coming.

      April 9, 2012 at 12:16 am

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