The Definition of Adding Insult to Injury
Sometimes in this world, you see things and just have to wonder what someone was thinking when they created it. I was driving down the street and saw a guy using a product that inspired that exact thought. What were you thinking, Dr. Medical Scientist?
I know what you’re thinking. That’s a weird looking bike. Where are the pedals? Alas, this is no bike my dear friends. This is the Crutch Scooter, the RollerAid, or the Knee Walker. That’s right. It’s a scooter you ride with one knee when you’ve hurt your foot.
I broke my wrist last year, so I know how annoying a broken bone can be. But who in their right mind would break their ankle and say, “Well, my life is gonna be super annoying for the next 6 weeks, I might as well make myself look like a jackass while I’m at it!” No one! Well, I guess not no one since I saw some weirdo scooting down the street on this thing last week.
Give me some crutches, give me a wheel chair, I mean I’ll even take a skateboard to roll around on. There’s no flipping way I’m scooting my ass around on this thing. I mean, a basket?! Really? What am I, a 12 year old girl?
“Hey Doc, I’m looking for something that will not only help with my pesky ankle, but trash my self esteem, and portray me as an emasculated shell of a man to everyone I see in public. Watcha got for me?”
“Well Adam, I’ve got the perfect thing!”
You know what? I think I figured it out. I can say with 98% certainty that the guy who invented this has no legs. That’s the only thing that makes sense. He’s mad at the world for stealing his legs in a freak freeze tag accident, so he decided to make the world pay. He transformed into an evil medical scientist, ready to exact his revenge.
“Steal my legs will you?! Well, all you walkies are going to look like idiots now! Hahahahahahaha!” (That was an evil laugh in case you couldn’t tell.)
I really wish I was a cartoonist right now, it would make all the fake conversations in this post like 10 times funnier. Anyway, I’m hoping the injured guy I saw that inspired this post isn’t one of my readers. But, if you are, dude, come on.
And for those of you who are curious, here is what my broken wrist looked like last year. Warning, it was a doozy!