Posts tagged “facebook

Twitter: Eliminate Stupidity, Add an Application Process

As a marketing/social media professional, I look at some of these new communications platforms and see some great opportunities. Red Bull ran an awesome contest featuring the new timeline format of the Facebook pages. Jell-O ran a crazy promotion on Twitter which actually gaged the overall happiness level of the Twittersphere. The opportunities for businesses are endless and seeing these new innovations is one of the best things about being in social media.

That being said, I think it’s time we fix Twitter. It has become the place where a person’s every thought is listed out for the world to see. Before Twitter, if you were watching Chris Brown present at the Grammy’s and wanted to make a joke about letting him hit you, you’d just think it, or say it to your friends in the room.

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Apparently My Blog = “Gay Aging Porn Stars With Mustaches”

So as part of the WordPress analytics, which I think are amazing, they track all of the places where your visitors come from. Most of mine are from Facebook, Twitter, and WordPress. Once in a while, I’ll get a google search for “Adam T blog” or “It’s your world,” but today, I got a bomb dropped on me. 

Seriously? I don’t even know what to say about this. I mean, traffic is traffic but I am seriously concerned. I think the biggest question that comes to mind is whether or not my blog was actually what this guy was looking for? Like, did he search that, find my website and think to himself, “That’s the one! Google, you have done it again you sly son of a gun!”  More importantly, is this the audience that is reading my blog, fans of aging gay porn stars with mustaches?

I guess there’s only one way to find out.

It’s not like a write about mustache clad porn stars all the time. Unlike my other blog, www.MustacheCladPornStars.org where that’s all I talk about, I barely ever write about them on It’s Your World! I mean one time I write about porn mustaches and I become the king of “gay aging porn stars with mustaches!”  You know what else is perplexing? Where the hell did “gay” and “aging” coming from?!  Now you’re just twisting my words and I won’t stand for it. 

I think one of the most amazing things about this whole situation is that this guy must have been doing a serious deep dive into this Google search. I mean, I went through the first 20 pages of google when I searched this and my blog was no where to be found. I would’ve kept going but my eyes were starting to burn after reading some of the titles of the pages I was passing. BTDubs, who knew gay guys loved Twinkies so much.

I mean, there’s got to be an easier way to find my blog than to troll through dozens of porn sites dedicated to old gay mustachioed men. But, as I said earlier, traffic is traffic, and if this is what has to be searched for my blog to get big than so be it!  All I can do is thank you for reading and hope you’ll follow and share.

Oh and just for fun. Here are just a few more interesting google searches that for some unknown reason have produced my blog as a result:

  • guys says something girls get mad girls do something wrong girls get mad” – uhh… what?
  • “u talking on my back because u are jealous of me” – i can’t even picture what it means to talk on someone’s back. Unless back is new slang for phone. Then it makes sense.
  • “zack morris dead” – What?! NOOOO!!!!
  • “mustache do you recognise me now”  – I dunno about you, but I read this one like he was talking to his mustache, asking if it recognized him. They’ve been best friends for years, but last week he got a nose job and the mustache had no idea it was coming. Now he’s curious if the mustache knows it’s still him. No?

Top 5 Reasons I Defriended You On Facebook

This is the first installment of the Friday Top 5 series. Enjoy!

Oh Facebook, how you have changed the world. Facebook has changed more than just the world though, it has also changed the definition of friend.  According to Facebook, the word friend is now defined as “anyone you have ever met before…ever.”  This is the main reason that it is so easy/fun to defriend people.  Now, I don’t usually defriend people on a whim.  It almost always comes after several major Facebook infractions have been made.  Here’s my Top 5 reasons I’m going to defriend you.

5. Be someone I never cared about and never will.

Now to be honest, this isn’t the persons fault per say. I may have friended him/her on a whim or he/she may have friended me because we went to high school together.  No matter how it happened, its clear we’re not friends nor will we ever be so go away!  This also carries over to friend requests.  If you’re requesting me just because we went to school together, that sheesh ain’t gonna fly. We’re not friends, let’s not pretend we are. Instead, let’s just call it what it is. We’re acquaintances at most! So, until Facebook allows you to Acquaintance someone, just leave me alone.

Now here’s when we get into it being your fault.

4. Give me life lessons in your status updates.

Just stop. Stop trying to make it seem like you’re wise. Stop pretending that people read your status and think, “Yup, she really nailed it. I think I’ll turn my life around today. Thanks random person I met once at a party 6 years ago.”

3. Like Everything I do.

Everyone has one person like this. No matter what you post – a picture, link, video, status update, change your marital status, new friend, etc. – they Like it.  You know what’s ironic here, I DON’T LIKE THAT YOU DO THAT. I mean, how creepy can you get. Can you imagine if I just followed you around every day and whenever you did anything, I said, “Hey man, I like that!” Not only that, but you cheapen the Like button every time you do that. There’s no way that you can Like everything I do, it’s impossible. Unless you are simply impressed that I learned how to update my status or that I didn’t forget how to change my profile pic. Maybe I’m just impressing you with my infinite knowledge of the book. Either way, back off!

2. Invite Me To Apps I Will Never Care About

Mob wars? Really? Is it still 2003. High School Year Book app? What the hell do you think Facebook is!? Just stop it! How could you possibly think that I’d be interested in this. Here’s a rule of thumb for inviting friends to apps.

If, and only if, you add an app and use it every day for a month and still enjoy it, then you can invite me.

Because odds are, you’ll be tired of that app before I even have a chance to respond to your request.  The fact that you think I’d enjoy this shows just how little you know me and is 100% proof we shouldn’t be friends in real life or in fake life.

And the number 1 way to get defriended on Facebook?

1. Post “Sexy” Pictures of Yourself in the Mirror

It can’t be any more straight forward than that. Kissy face in the mirror in your bikini? Defriended. Rippling abs with your shirt pulled up half way in the mirror? Defriended. I don’t remember, is this the JerseyShoreBook or Facebook? NO ONE CARES. No one is really saying “daayyyaammmmm” when they see your pasty body all over their news feeds. They’re saying “Really, random girl I went to middle school with who now lives in Brockton and is a server at Friendly’s, you thought that was a good idea?” As for the guys, it may be a little jealousy but that’s neither here nor there. Either way, put your mega deep v back on all the way, and go get your jager bomb on.

If you’re reading this, and you have been defriended by me in the past, I hope you understand now why I did it. That’s all for today’s Friday Top 5. Don’t forget to signup and get these posts in your email.