Personally, I believe adulthood is overrated. Being respectful of people, doing the right thing, eating healthy, having money, who needs it! However, no matter how I feel about it, it is inevitable. It’s coming no matter what and all you can do is suck it up and act like an adult. Unfortunately, at 26 years old, I still don’t think I’ve got it and here’s a few reasons why.
Seriously, what is this?
Here’s what I know:
- You’re supposed to do your taxes every year.
- There’s both federal and state.
- It’s no fun.
Here’s what I don’t know:
- What the hell I’m doing.
- What I’m supposed to save. (Receipts I think right? I bought a hot dog at a gas station today and saved the receipt. I’m getting there)
- When they’re due.
- Who to give them to. I assume some guy just comes to my house on tax day and I hand him a folder. Badda bing badda boom.
I feel like I probably should’ve figured this out by now but I haven’t. I’m determined to do my own taxes this year and when I get my tax return I’m opening a bar tab for all my friends! How much will $15 get me?
I probably should’ve done this before.
Okay, okay. This one’s just my bad. Yes. I haven’t voted before. No. I’m not upset about it. I could’ve voted back in ’04. My absentee ballot got sent to me at school but the mailroom was on the other side of the campus. Not. Gonna. Happen.
Here’s my defense, I don’t pay attention to politics. All I know is that Santorum doen’t like gay guys and Mitt Romney is a republican. So with that in mind, I don’t think it would be fair to play a role in deciding who makes the rules if I don’t know anything. Yeah I know, I could just pay attention and this problem would be solved, but you know what? A lot of my problems could be solved by paying attention so don’t think I’m just gonna start all of a sudden just because you want me to.
I just recently got my mattress off the floor!
I honestly have no proof that this has any connection to being an adult, I just don’t know any adults that don’t have a headboard on their beds. I do know a lot of college students who don’t have box springs or bed frames though.
I’m comfortably in the middle and I’m okay with it.
How does the day not start at noon?
Adults wake up in the morning. Non-adults hit snooze 17 times, hoping for that one in a million morning when, for some reason, 10 minutes of sleep feels like 3 hours and you’ve never had a better night sleep. Honestly, I’d give anything to be a morning person. Wake up at 6, grab a coffee and a power bar, hit the gym, save a cat from a burning tree (yeah, you heard me), and start my work day like an absolute stud.
Instead, I convince myself I can wake up and be ready to walk out the door in 12 minutes and then almost always challenge myself to do it in 8 minutes for those extra 4 minutes of sweet, sweet sort of/kinda sleep. Some day, when I’m a big boy, I’ll be rising from my bed like a Pheonix from the ashes (just looked the meaning to make sure it fit here and guess what… it does!) every morning and you won’t know what hit you!
Yeah I eat Gogurt. I know its embarrassing but you know what? I don’t care. It’s delicious and it’s only 70 calories (compared to Yoplaite Lite – 110 and Dannon Light & Fit – 80, Breyers Light – 80). No spoon needed and you get flavors like Blue Cotton Candy. I’ll admit it can get messy at times, (I have shot it all over my wall, coffee table and couch all at once) but still.
Greek yogurt and fruit on the bottom can take the business section and go read in the sun room because that just isn’t for me.
I really hope I’m not alone here. . Everybody has to have something they do/say/eat/won’t do that is keeping them from being a 100% card carrying member of Adults R Us. Feel free to share below.
This is a question I have struggled with for a while and every bit of me wants the answer to be yes because someday I want to be an adult but I don’t want to stop playing video games. To be honest, I don’t see what the problem with video games is. They’re stimulating, fun, challenging, and an escape into a world I’d never normally experience. Pretty sure that makes video games the same as world traveling, and “real” adults do that all the time!
So what’s your deal! You “real” adults get to go home and read, crochet, paint, and explore the finer side of french cuisine and we all have to bow down to your maturity and sophistication. But I talk about going home, plopping down in my papasan, throwing on my turtle beaches, and killing 12 year olds with my friends and I’m some sort of deviant with the mental maturity of the 12 year olds I dominate in Call of Duty.
Now I’m not saying video games are my life because they really aren’t. I read (sometimes), I take salsa lessons, I snowboard (AKA crawl around in the snow in between 5 second rides), and I partake in debates on physics and even politics (although I usually fade out after 15 seconds when I run out of relevant talking points.) That being said, video games are still a part of my life for two main reasons:
- I’m competitive as hell and good at video games so its the perfect arena for me to stomp on you.
- More importantly, they keep me connected to some of my friends that I left behind on the east coast.
My question to all you jerks who laugh at me or give me a look when you find out I still play video games is what is the real problem here? Is it because it is something that kids do? If so, thats a terrible argument. Kids read. Kids paint. Kids even cook! Oh! But you’re different. You’re much better at reading/painting/cooking or you’re reading/painting/cooking real things and they’re just doing it like amateurs!? Well same here! I play like a pro and those kids can’t hold a candle to me! (Speaking of being an adult, I should probably figure out what that saying means some day.)
Allow me to present this information in SAT format.
Me on Call of Duty : Your creme brulee :: A 12 year old on Call of Duty : A 12 year old’s Easy Bake Oven cupcakeOr is it just because it’s fantasy, fake, stupid, and immature? Oh…okay got it. I’ll remember that for the next time you talk about Twilight, Harry Potter, and Star Wars.
As you may have noticed, I’m pretty passionate when it comes to my right to play video games in my mid 20s, but getting back to my original question. Can I be an adult and play video games? I’ll be honest. I want to have a savings account some day, learn to cook more than chicken and pork chops (yup that’s right! I’m cooking pork chops now too!), and maybe even read a newspaper some day. Is there a correlation between my desire/ability to to these things and the fact that I still play video games?
I sure as hell hope not because I’m just not gonna stop. I look forward to the day I get to mop the floor with my kids in whatever gam is popular in the future, and I can’t do that without keeping my skills fresh as I is. So to all you naysayers, looking down on me and my friends from your high horse, with your heads lost in the clouds of adulthood, take your looks of judgement and superiority and redirect them where they belong… at some hipsters.
As I usually do, I have quickly changed my mind about this blog. For now, it will have no theme, no guiding direction, no substantive goal other than to be a blog. (I’m really setting my expectations high.)
And here we go.
I realized this past year that I should start drinking wine. Now, I didn’t do this because it’s classy or sophisticated or because I liked the taste. No no. I did it because I figured I was supposed to. What self respecting adult doesn’t drink wine? So a while back, I embarked on this mission. Being the classy guy that I am, I went over to Wal-Mart and picked up a wine rack and a set of 4 plastic wine glasses. $12 down and my life as a wine connoisseur has begun. Next, continuing my trend, I ran over to the liquor store and headed straight for the 2 for $10 rack and grabbed up 8 bottles. 4 reds, 4 whites, all different kinds of wine.
They were awful.
Every single drop made me want to give up wine for ever but I battled through. I knew, just like when my parents forced me to take gymnastics when I was 3, just because I didn’t like it now, doesn’t mean it won’t grow on me. I just had to give it some time. (I quit gymnastics a year later; I’m hoping to make it a little longer on wine.)
So the semester went on and, I’ll be honest, it didn’t get much better tasting but it did get easier to drink. Midway through the semester, I ended up in Sonoma doing some wine tastings where I was drinking some of the best wines Sonoma had to offer. “This one was barreled in oak for 18 months.” “These vines are nearly 110 years old.” “You can really taste the berries in this one.” I even ordered a $60 bottle of merlot at dinner! Awful, awful, awful, awful! Why am I torturing myself like this! Someone get me a Keystone Light now!
But times, they are a changing. I’m 9 months into this quest and I can honestly say, I don’t completely hate wine. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a progress to me. I can sit and drink my $10 bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon or Pinot Noir and not want to get into a fist fight with the grapes it came from. Not only that, but I’m actually drinking wine at the appropriate times, which is probably the biggest step forward in this whole process. I’m not chugging a bottle of Pinot Grigio before running off to the bars in Amherst. I sit down at night, put on my robe, grab the business section of the newspaper, and have a glass before going upstairs to tuck the kids into bed.
Being an adult – 1, Never Never Land syndrome – 0.
So I think I’ve come to a decision. Recently, it dawned on me that I’m apart of the real world now. No more school. No more cafeterias. No more recess. No more living the easy life. That means growing up. Trust me, I know what you’re thinking, “that sounds awful!” And you’re right, but I honestly think it’s going to be okay.
This blog will be dedicated to this difficult, exasperating, and sometimes futile endeavor. I’ll talk about my exploration into the world of fine wines. (Upgrading from $6 bottles to $10 is considered fine wines right?) I’ll discuss the challenges/excitement of looking for a job, with the focus on the challenges. Guess what else?! I started reading! Yes, me. The same guy that, 5 months ago, rather than read the whole thing, skimmed half of an 80 page book that was written for 15 year olds. So maybe I’ll impart some of my new found knowledge on you through a book review here or there and if you’d like, I’ll include a diorama , 3rd grade style. Not really sure what else being a grown up entails but as I figure it out, I’m sure I’ll write about it.
If this sounds terrible, then well, this blog isn’t for you. If you’re already classy, cultured, sophisticated, and well-traveled, well I don’t even know how you found this blog because we’re probably not friends.
Thanks for checking in guys. This is going to a good time…I think? At least this whole grown up thing isn’t permanent.