Yes. I am invincible. That’s right! No one can see me!
Just kidding, I know there’s a difference. Seriously though, I’m invincible. Just ask MSNBC. This is according to an article they published yesterday, on something called Vitals.
Isn’t that just amazing? By drinking coffee, you reduce your risk of death! I mean just think about all of the ways people have tried to avoid dying – magic potions, age fighting creams and chemicals, Benjamin Button-ing yourself. All this time, all they really needed to do was drink coffee! That’s just kray.
Let’s be honest here, who wouldn’t want to reduce their risk of death? Up until this point, your risk of death was 100%. Now with coffee, who knows what it is. 50%? 5%? The possibilities are endless…depending on how many decimal points you use. Most normal studies only try to prove that a lifestyle change can increase life longevity or decrease risk of dying from a particular cause. But not at MSNBC. No way. They find out what’s going to keep us alive forever and that’s why they are now my 16th favorite website starting with “www.M”
So, to all of us coffee drinkers, let’s just relax. What’s the rush? We’re going to live forever. Anyone up for a movie night? Okay, let’s plan to meet, Friday May 18, 4625. Say around 7 PM? We’ll catch the new Men In Black 436.
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May 17, 2012 | Categories: Chef Telian Says... | Tags: benjamin button, coffee, death, food, funny, health, humor, immortality, invincibility, invincible, life, magic potions, medicine, men in black, mortality, msnbc, news, ridiculous, science, study, stupid | 3 Comments