Posts tagged “working world

If You’re Looking For A Job, I Know You Feel My Pain

No soup for you.

Its not you, its me.

License and registration.

What are these phrases? Oh, they’re only some of the worst things you can ever hear as a person.  It’s not you, its me? Shut up! Of course, its me! License and registration eh? Sir yes sir. Lovely weather we’re having, could I polish your shoes? No soup for me? Come on!

But there is one phrase that is worse than all of these.  It can crush a man’s soul, leave him weeping in a corner, cursing the gods, more confused than the average person listening to dub step. One phrase that leads to one inevitable statement and question.  That doesn’t even make sense! How is that possible?

You’re overqualified for the position.

Who? Little ole me? You must be mistaken. I can’t be overqualified for this position.  I’m an idiot! What? These degrees? They’re nothing. I faked them. Look, I’ll rip up the diploma right now.  Just give me the job! I’m overqualified? You’re overqualified!

Honestly, is there anything more infuriating to hear then to not get a job because you’re too awesome, too smart, too invested in your career, too in debt with school loans?  I would much rather be told that there was a better candidate or that I had a booger in my nose during than interview than to hear I’m too good.

Sorry Adam, we didn’t draft you into the MLB because you throw too hard.  Sorry sir, you didn’t win the lottery, you’re numbers were too exactly right.  Sorry God, you can’t be God, you’re too omnipotent.

It’s just amazing.  You spend weeks and months scouring the internet for a job that you’re qualified for that you won’t hate. A job that you should get hands down.

  • Bachelors degree from an accredited four year school. Major in business or marketing preferred – CHECK
  • 1-2 years experience in a related field – CHECK
  • The ability to meet deadlines, manage multiple projects, and learn on the job – CHECK
  • Proficiency in Microsoft Office – CHECK
  • The ability to breathe – CHECK
  • A pulse – CHECK
  • Knees – CHECK

Could I possibly have this job locked down any more?

Apparently yes.  I could have not done 4 internships and I could have not gone to school for an extra 2years to earn 2 Masters degrees. How stupid of me!

I wish HR managers around the world could read this right now because there is nothing more disheartening to hear that you didn’t get a job because you’re overqualified.  You clearly are in need of an employee. You obviously realize that I am qualified for the job.  Instead of giving it to some schmo that is less qualified than me, how about you just give me the job and more responsibility. Ever think of that?

I love this job market. Here’s what I’ve been able to gather in the last year.

  1. The masters degree is supposedly the new bachelors degree.
  2. A masters degree makes me too qualified for a job I couldn’t have gotten 3 years ago with just a bachelors degree.
  3. If I had just sat at home for 3 years, waiting for the job market to crash, I’d be perfectly qualified for hundreds of jobs!

So thank you world for proving once again that you’re an awful place.

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